A Royally Beautiful Mess Read online

  “I’m right here.”

  But he wasn’t. “You’re not Dare anymore. You’re Darius of Eyjania, first in line for his brother’s throne.”

  “No, I’m not.” The confusion in his voice made her look up. “Genevieve is.”

  “I thought Eyjania still had male primogeniture? That it didn’t matter that your sisters are older than you.”

  He shook his head. “My father made sure succession was changed to absolute primogeniture. My sisters, and their children eventually, all have precedence to me. Don’t worry. You’ll never be queen of Eyjania.”

  That thought had never occurred to her. “That’s good, because I’d be exiled from San Majoria if I was, and I’d really rather not go that route.”

  “I still don’t understand.” Darius moved across the room until he could sit on the table in front of her. “Why would you rather be in that hut with me instead of Serenity Landing with me?”

  She wasn’t even sure she could explain it to herself. “Because Star and Dare were just Star and Dare. A couple who met under these amazing circumstances and had nothing to worry about but each other. Esther and Darius have things like bodyguards and international relations and miscarriages and siblings having children and even more, like crazy, power-hungry uncles, to worry about.”

  “Isaiah may wish he’d been king, but he would never hurt either of us or the baby.”

  Esther wasn’t so sure. “If you say so.” Her phone buzzed. “Astrid and the baby will be home in a few minutes. My father wants us there to meet her.”

  “Are you sure he wants us or just you?”

  She reread the message. “I guess it doesn’t actually say us. You can wait here. I’ll make sure someone finds guest quarters for you.”

  “No.” She hadn’t really expected him to go along with it, but his vehemence surprised her. “I’m your husband. I’ll stay here with you, even if you want me to sleep in the other room.”

  “Fine.” Esther stood and folded the blanket before putting it away. She stopped in the bathroom to do a quick touch up to her face. Nothing would hide the tired behind her eyes. She didn’t really bother trying. There wouldn’t be any pictures for the public anyway.

  Halfway to the Reception Room near the portico, she ran into Kensington and Anabelle.

  “Esther!” He picked her up and swung her around. “I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you, too.” He’d tried to be there for her in Eyjania. It wasn’t his fault she hadn’t opened up to him. “I hear you two have some good news of your own.” She put on the happy face because that’s what you did when your older brother and his wife were having a baby.

  Kensington set her back on her feet then wrapped an arm around Anabelle. “March,” he confirmed. “Almost exactly a year after we first met.”

  “That’s fantastic. I’m really happy for you.” She tried desperately to mean the words as they started walking again.

  But the ache in her heart compelled her to stay half a step back so she wouldn’t have to see the smiles on their faces. Or the love in their eyes.

  Darius seemed to like her but would he ever feel that way about her? Would she for him?

  Given the circumstances of their marriage it seemed exceedingly unlikely.

  But a girl could dream.

  And while she dreamed, Esther would put on a happy face and be the good girl everyone thought she always had been.

  Because she was.

  Except for those days in Sargasso, she’d always done what was expected of her. She wouldn’t stop now.

  Darius paced around Esther’s apartment. Astrid would be home soon with the baby and then, after a few baby snuggles, Esther would be back.

  Baby snuggles. Wasn’t that what women did when they were around a newborn? Sniff the kid’s head and groan about how good babies smelled?

  He’d been a big brother enough times to remember his aunts doing that with each one.

  Would Esther?

  When she clearly still mourned the loss of a child no one else knew about. Trying to hold her head up and keep her smile bright so no one would know her heart was breaking.

  Darius knew what that was like.

  Isaiah found him crying a few hours after his father died and made sure Darius knew that wasn’t what a good prince did.

  Isaiah had never actually laid a hand on any of them, as far as Darius knew, but he knew how to get his way, to get the family to acquiesce to what he wanted.

  In the years since, Darius had learned Isaiah probably wasn’t the best example of what a prince, or a man - or even a human - should be, but he hadn’t really had anyone else to observe. Benjamin didn’t know what he was doing but knew enough to keep a stiff upper lip. Aunt Louise spent much of her time with Benjamin, while her husband spent most of his time at their home a few miles away in Akushla. He finished raising their four children, all older than Darius. A couple of them had been married for years and already had children of their own.

  But he, along with the others, learned that you weren’t ever allowed to let the public see any emotion. In fact, it was best if no one ever saw emotion.

  That was why Darius loved his time with Star.

  He could be himself.

  “What’s your biggest fear?” Star sat in a chair on her balcony.

  Darius thought about saying something flippant. Turtles or fireflies or water sports. But he couldn’t. He had to be honest with her. “That no one will ever know the real me.” He stared at the ocean. “That I’ll never find that one person who knows everything about me - all the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between - and loves me anyway.”

  Her soft hand covered his. “Someone will. Pretty sure I’ve seen the real you the last couple of days, and I can assure you that some lucky girl will be that for you.”

  Darius had wanted to ask her the same question but was scared of the answer. Even sitting on that balcony, he’d wanted to take Star by the hand and run away together.

  Instead, he’d pulled her over to his chair and kissed her like he meant it. For years, Isaiah had told him and his brothers that they deserved whatever they could take from any woman outside their own family. Darius knew better. His father had never behaved like that, and he knew his mother would never have put up with it.

  But, with Star, it was different. Darius knew the soft touches, the gentle kisses, the passionate embraces - they all should have been off-limits, but instead he ignored the small voice inside. It sounded too much like a very disappointed version of his father, so Darius squashed it.

  Now he stood with his hands shoved deep in his pockets as he stared out the window of another palace, at the same ocean, and wondered if he and Esther would ever get to the place Dare and Star had been for those few days.

  The door behind Darius opened, and he turned to see Esther smile and laugh as she waved to someone else down the hall.

  But then the door closed.

  Her shoulders slumped.

  Her whole body crumpled against the door as she struggled to stay on her feet and off the floor.

  Darius sprang into motion, hurrying to her side. Carefully, he pulled her to him, his arm around her waist. “Come on. Let’s get you to a chair.”

  Instead of an actual chair, Darius sat on a sofa and helped her sit next to him. She pulled her legs up but curled into him at the same time.

  “The baby’s beautiful,” she whispered. “Absolutely perfect. Astrid’s been mostly on bedrest for months. Not really, but she had to take it super easy because she’d gone into labor early. He smells like everything a baby should smell like. Sounds like a baby. Snuggles like one. Roots for his mother like every newborn since creation.”

  “You’ll have that,” he promised her. “You’ll have your own newborn who snuggles, and makes those noises, and smells, and roots.” Darius kissed the side of her head.

  She pulled away from him. “I’m going to take a shower.”

  Before he could respond, she was o
ut of the living area and into her bedroom.

  What exactly had he said? Promised that there would be another child?

  Did she detest him so much that the thought of a baby with him was repulsive? Didn’t she know there would be no one else for either one of them? Even if Benjamin never filed the paperwork, their marriage was legal and binding and forever.

  His phone buzzed. A text from a girl at University, one he was working on a project with. He’d canceled their working lunch when Esther wanted to go home early. She’d called, texted, and emailed several times but he hadn’t responded yet.

  This time he would. A quick text told her of a family emergency, and he was out of town for at least a couple of days. The birth of a baby didn’t qualify as an emergency, but his wife’s sanity did.

  Maybe he needed a shower.

  With a groan, he remembered that he had no luggage. Surely whatever he needed could be obtained, but he was pretty sure no one was supposed to know he was here.

  Darius walked to her door, left cracked open. “Esther?” he called. “I need to talk to you.”

  “Go away.” Her voice came over the sound of running water in a connected bathroom.

  “I need to talk to you,” he reiterated. When she didn’t answer, he continued. “I’ll be waiting here, in your room, when you’re done.”

  He sat on one of the chairs only to find it was hard. With a shrug, he flopped down on the bed to wait.

  5

  With her still sopping wet hair pulled up into a sloppy bun, Esther went back into her room, hoping Darius had taken a slow boat to Eyjania. Or China. Either would be fine.

  Instead, he was flopped on his back. On her bed. Legs crossed at the ankle and one arm propped behind his head as he watched television on the screen that dropped out of her ceiling.

  Which meant he’d dug through the drawers of her side table for the remotes.

  The drawer where she’d stashed a few mementos from their time in Islas del Sargasso. The do not disturb sign. A note he’d left when he had something he had to do one morning before she woke up. An origami swan he’d spent an hour making after looking up the instructions online.

  “Feel better?” he asked.

  “Some.” The tears had been cathartic, but catharsis didn’t always last. Sometimes you needed multiple rounds. “Why are you in here?”

  “Because I need to go shopping.” He held up the remote and clicked the mute button. “And I want you to go with me.”

  “What do you need to shop for?”

  “Clothes. I didn’t bring anything with me. Just went to the airport and headed straight here as soon as I could get a plane.”

  “You mean a flight?” He meant a flight, didn’t he?

  “No. A plane. Like a private rental.” He shrugged. “I’ve got the money to rent one so I did.”

  “That’s how you got here half an hour after I did.”

  “I landed before you but getting into the palace proved a bit trickier when I wasn’t on the approved visitor list.” He rolled onto his side and propped his head on his arm.

  “So you need clothes? You can borrow something from one of my brothers.” Even when she said it, she knew it wouldn’t work. Their styles were completely different and the sizes didn’t match up. Not when none of them wore anything truly off-the-rack. “Send someone to get what you need. There’s literally a whole palace of staff at your beck and call.”

  Not at hers, though. Her assistant had been reassigned to Anabelle, as had her stylist. They told her they’d be happy to assist her while she was in San Majoria, but she didn’t want to split their time when Anabelle was about to make such a major announcement.

  “I’d rather go myself. With you, since I don’t know my way around.”

  “And neither of us actually drives, so how do you plan to get there?”

  He winced. “That’s where you also come in. Surely you can get someone to drive us to a market somewhere.”

  “And have someone recognize us? And take pictures of us together? And start the rumor mill?”

  Darius rolled over and stood on his knees in front of her. Esther had to look up at him. “We’re already married, Esther. What’s the rumor mill going to say that isn’t true?” He ran a finger down the side of her face. “I didn’t say a thing about holding your hand or making out with you in public. All anyone will see, if they see anything, is a San Majorian princess helping an Eyjanian prince find some clothes.”

  “And you don’t think everyone will read into that?”

  He shrugged, his hand resting on her shoulder as his thumb brushed up and down the side of her neck. “What if they do? The most anyone will think is that we’ve been flirting a bit and speculation might pick up that there could possibly, maybe, be a relationship between the two families. No one will guess at the truth.”

  That the relationship between the two nations had nearly been given its first heir in centuries. That some day it likely would.

  “When was the last time someone from your family married someone from mine?”

  A lopsided grin crossed his face. “In 1702. I looked it up. A San Majorian prince got an Eyjanian princess pregnant and tried to turn his back on her. The Eyjanian king and San Majorian queen were livid at both kids. The Treaty of 1702 ensured that should it ever happen again, the wronged country could force the monarch to give up the throne and be replaced by someone of the other monarch’s choosing. If your father invoked the Treaty, he could have made Benjamin give up the throne and put whoever he wanted on it, likely you given what he said.”

  That was what the Treaty of 1702 was? “So you only married me because your brother would have lost his throne, and you wouldn’t be a prince anymore?”

  Darius groaned. “No. I wanted to stay with Star as much as you wanted to stay with Dare. I figured we could find a way to make it work. And it was the right thing to do, regardless of my brother and any international implications.”

  She stared into his eyes, so close and yet so far at the same time. It wouldn’t take much for her to kiss him, just lean in a little bit. Instead, she took a step back. “Fine. Let’s go shopping.” Far easier than standing so close to him.

  Turning to go back into her closet to change and at least pull on a hat over her hair, she stopped when Darius grabbed her arm and turned her back toward him.

  His blue eyes were soft, more like Dare’s than she’d seen in months. “We need to figure this out, Esther. It’s you and me, whatever that ends up meaning. Living here or in Eyjania or splitting our time or whatever, it’s me and you together.”

  He looked like he wanted to kiss her, but before he could, she pulled away, and he let her go without a fight.

  What would that look like in a year when they were both finished with college. What was his dream? Be a “royal” and do charity work but not much else? Hold down an actual job of some kind? And if so what?

  For that matter, what did she want to do? A degree in non-profit management could come in handy. Maybe.

  Esther shook her head to clear it as she quickly changed clothes, towel-dried her hair and bobby-pinned it into a bun then grabbed a beach hat.

  Maybe no one would recognize them, and she could escape back to Serenity Landing without any further notice from the press.

  And maybe pigs had learned to fly.

  Someone scrounged up a hat and sunglasses for Darius to wear. When they exited the vehicle, he tugged it a little more solidly down on his head but didn’t reach for Esther’s hand like he wanted to.

  No. If anyone recognized them on this jaunt, it would seem like two friends out shopping. That’s all.

  Good thing they didn’t wear rings.

  That would definitely get noticed.

  It reminded him that he probably should back in Serenity Landing. It might keep girls from flirting with him. A ring would also remind him he really shouldn’t flirt back, even if he was annoyed with Esther and trying to get her attention.

  “Where first?�
� she asked from underneath her own floppy straw hat and behind sunglasses that probably belonged in the 80s.

  “I need clothes.”

  “I know that. What kind? Jeans? A suit? Shoes?”

  “A couple pairs of jeans and shorts and a few shirts should be fine. We won’t be here long, will we?”

  “I have class on Monday.”

  “So do I. And since it’s now Friday evening, I need clothes for a couple of days. Do you attend church on Sunday?”

  “Usually. I don’t know if I will this weekend or not. Since I’ve been away inexplicably for so long, my presence could be more of a distraction than it’s worth.”

  She led him into a fairly generic store for young adults. In about five minutes, she had him loaded down with several styles of jeans and shorts along with a few shirts.

  “Go try those on.” Esther sat in one of the chairs near the dressing rooms.

  “Am I supposed to come back out and show you?” He’d never shopped like this before, though he suspected his sisters had.

  “If you want or if you’re not sure if something fits right, maybe.” Her phone came out of her purse. Her sunglasses had stayed on.

  A clerk let him into one of the dressing rooms. It didn’t matter much to him which jeans or shirt he tried on first. She’d asked his size in the car so they should fit. Even though he was pretty sure he looked like he was supposed to, Darius exited the small room. “How’s this?”

  Esther looked up, over the top of her sunglasses. “You look fine.”

  Fine? She’d barely glanced at him.

  A rack nearby held what he presumed were articles of clothing someone had decided not to purchase. One of the shirts called to him. This time, he emerged wearing tan cargo shorts and a teal and yellow tropical print shirt.

  “How about now?” He put his hands on his hips in a superhero pose.

  This time she actually looked at him, doing a double take. “That shirt is all kinds of hideous.”

  That meant he’d take it and wear it occasionally just to annoy her.

  With a grin, he ignored her ignoring him again and went back to change. He didn’t bother coming out with the other clothes but grabbed a pair of jeans and a pair of shorts, then asked the associate to find him a couple more pairs in the same style and size. It would work to keep here for the time being. He picked the tropical print shirt along with a few others in various styles and checked out. Unfortunately, when he looked in his wallet, all he had was Eyjanian bills. And no plastic good outside his own country, and every one of them had his name.